Having sex regularly is the ideal thing in a marriage. Couples are expected to be looking up to doing this as much as possible. This is especially the case when taking into consideration the various social and health benefits of sex to both the husband and the wife. However, despite all these we still have reports of wives refusing to have sex with their husbands when occasions call for it. This leaves us with the question: “Why are wives doing this considering the fact that this could lead to serious crisis that could literally bring down the marriage?”
Sequel to the above question, we have attempted to find answer as to why wives are denying sex to their husbands. Consequently 14 reasons have been identified as to why wives are denying their husbands sex. They are explained below. However, it is imperative to note that the list may not be exhaustive, but they could inspire us to search for and know more about other reasons in the course of time.
There may be some pending issues begging for resolutions between the couples that the wife feels should be resolved as quickly as possible. In fact, the wife by this action has made such issue priority in her scheme of things. She is using this opportunity to press home her demand for the resolution of the matter. The issue involved could be a promise not kept by the husband, disagreement/misunderstanding with members of extended family, poor financial state of the family, among others. The husband will be lucky if this is made known to him straight away as he will be able to resolve the matter as quickly as possible. But some women could be very tricky as they may not come out straight, thereby leaving their husbands to figure out the reason themselves.
Little or No Communication
Effective communication is the engine of healthy relationship anywhere in the world. Where communication is absent or inadequate, a very fertile ground is created for rumour mongering and misunderstanding. As this continues unabated, it may start taking it tolls on the relationship between the husband and his wife. This may take the form of sex denial on the part of the wife. Most times the foundation upon which the denial is built is false; meaning that the man is just being punished for nothing. Couples should endeavour to build their relationship on effective communication. This should be a habit. Nothing should be left to chances.
Punishing the Husbands
Sometimes, the wife may decide to deny her husband sex as a way of punishing him. This may be for the purpose of revenge or to register her displeasure on the way certain issues were handled or are being handled in the family. Any woman that really loves her marriage is advised to avoid this way of resolving conflict. Other options for conflict resolutions should be explored to avoid complications in the relationship. If this should continue unabated, the husband may retaliate and cracks may start showing up in the marriage.
Exercising Dominance Over Husbands
In certain instances, some women feel that they cannot be dominated in their relationship. They want to have a domineering influence on their husbands. So they resort to using sex denial to launch emotional warfare against their husbands; always expecting him to come and start begging for sex. In the process of doing this terms and conditions are dictated to the husband that may eventually lead to his submission to the wife. It should be noted that this is a dangerous game because it may boomerang. If the man is aware of this motive he may choose not to bow down to such trick and this may lead to crisis.
Running Through the Act/Painful Sex.
Some women do not just deny their husbands sex; the pain they go through during sexual intercourse is the factor responsible for this. This is especially when the couples are not careful enough as to make the experience a pleasurable one to both the husband and the wife. For instance, if a lady is not wet before sex the dryness of the vagina could make the intercourse very painful to the her. To avoid this ugly situation, the man (husband) is required to keep to K.I.S.S. principle – Keep It Slow and Sexy. Use the opportunity of foreplay to get the woman wet to lubricate the vagina. This will ease the penetration without pain to the woman.
Lack of Adequate Foreplay
One other reason why your wife may deny you sex is that over time you have reduced the role of foreplay in sexual intercourse. The foreplay helps to lift the spirit of the woman preparatory to having sex. The process of foreplay helps in taking woman to a level where her initial passive mood is being upgraded to active mood where she will now begin to crave for it. The attendant wetness shows that she is now prepared to enjoy sex. Some women enjoy this than the actual sex. So if your wife is such a person and she is not enjoying it from you, she may not be willing to participate in future intercourse. You need to watch out for this.
Lack of Respect for the Marriage
Some women do not really have respect for the institution of marriage. They probably got themselves into it for the purpose of procreation or perhaps due to societal pressure. For instance, some female bisexuals do not really fancy having sexual intercourse with men. They are into marriage to hide their true sexual orientation or motive from the larger society. So a wife with this orientation will always find reason to deny her husband sex. But she will always be hunting for lesbian of another female bisexual to catch fun with.
Poor Health Condition
This is another ground for which a woman can deny her husband. Sex requires some measures of energy and physical ability. It is excusable if a wife who is in terrible health condition tells her husband that she could not go to bed with him. For example, a wife who is just recuperating from a major illness may not have the needed strength to engage in sex. The husband has to give her sometimes to be fully recovered. The same thing applies to a woman that has just put to bed. It is even more serious if her delivery was through caesarean operation. Stroke patients may not be favourably disposed to having sex either. A woman who is infected with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) may want to deny her husband sex until she is fully recovered from it. She will do everything to resist sex during this period. This is a very dangerous development because by basic health standard, she is expected to undergo the treatment with her husband. The list is endless.
“Every day is not Christmas”, so says an adage. Sometimes, the wife may be too tired due to activities during the day. This may have gotten her exhausted and tired. Sex will definitely be the least thing in her mind at a period such as this. The husband should show some understanding and control his urge during the period. This is especially the case since it is not a frequent or daily excuse.
There is this terrible thing that is common with most women. It is called mood swing. This is an irrational and unpredictable change in the mood, especially from the state of happiness to sadness. A woman going through this swing may most likely deny her husband sex without blinking an eye. All that is required is for the husband to give her sometimes to get over it and normalcy will return.
Extra Marital Affairs
Infidelity is a very powerful and destructive factor that could be the reason behind sex denial from the wife. If the woman is seeing another man elsewhere her attention to her husband will be divided. This is even more serious if the man friend is perceived to be better in bed than her husband. A woman in this trap will no longer understand why her husband should be worrying her with sex advances. For a woman who loves money, that may be a major hook from the man outside.
When Sex Is Turned To Routine
Sex is not static; it is dynamic. If you want to leave an enduring memory in your wife that will make her beg you for sex, you have to be innovative and creative. Think of new ways of mutually enjoying your sex. Try new approaches, styles and positions beginning with foreplay. Doing the same thing over and over again could be so boring and displeasing.
Not Emotionally Connected to the Husband
Where there is no emotional connection between the wife and the husband, the tendencyTO have sex may be lacking. The couples may not be attracted to one another, let alone having sex. Any sex advance or request by the husband will always be hitting a stone wall. Where this is the case, the couples are required to identify and work on the repelling sources and remove them completely in order to restore their sex life.