Ronald Olusegun Olaiya
Photo Credit: DepositPhotos
Many people are of the view that romantic relationship must end up in marriage. This thought is fraught with errors. Romantic relationship may not, and has not, necessarily resulted in marriage. History is replete with cases of romance that did not result in marriage. Some of these are painfully so. But some are based on the agreement of the lovebirds to end their relationship that way.
Apart from marriage, there are several other reasons why people go into romantic relationship. This explains why as a person, you have to have a common understanding with your partner at the inception of the relationship what your objectives are in the romance. Once objectives of romance relationship are well laid out, and the cessation of the relationship is based on the agreed terms and conditions, we can no longer say that one party has broken the other’s heart. It is important to also point out here that anyone that goes into relationship of this nature without specific agreement is on his/her own.
Let us identify and explain below some of the reasons for engaging in romantic relationship:
To have fun
To some, the idea behind their romantic relationship is to have fun; that is to say that they want to enjoy themselves together. They may not have marriage in mind. They want to have this fun related bond for as long as possible. Sex takes place in the relationship. In fact that is the main focus. The affairs may end at anytime without any heart being broken.
Exploring the world
The people in this category are called Explorers. Their focus is curiousity. They want to have an idea of what it feels to be in romantic relationship. This is especially the case with the virgins who have never dated anyone in their lives. But they have been told so many stories perhaps by their peers. So they too would like the taste of romance. This is where most ended up being deflowered. Unfortunately, they may be taken advantage of if the person they are relating with is more matured than them. This is because at this stage they are mostly naive and gullible with little or no life experience.
Some people are in serious need of companionship for one reason or another. The reason could be because of lost of loved one. There are also those who just ended their previous relationship for whatever reason. Of course because of these reasons and others they become lonely and bored. They need the company of someone they can trust who they could share a number of things together like cooking, swimming, singing, dancing, shopping, eating, going out to the cinemas, etc
Learning About People
There are quite a number of people that grew up with many people around them. They have uncles, nephews, aunties, cousins, nieces, friends, and others. This has helped them to know about different types of people over time. However, it is not everyone that grew up knowing a lot of people. In their desperate attempts at getting to learn about people they go into romantic relationship, mainly for experimental purpose. In few cases this experiment works and it eventually leads to marriage. However, in most cases it crashes mid-way into the romance. But the bottom line is that irrespective of the way the relationships ended, some lessons have been learnt about the nature of people.
Growth and Maturity
We are all social being by nature. Our growth and maturity in live will be influenced by the way we relate with other people around us. In our relationship with each other, our weaknesses and strengths will unfold and we will be able to learn a few lessons that can be incorporated into our personal profile that will show in our growth and maturity index in subsequent relationship. Hence, our new engagement will be approached as more experienced and matured persons.
The drive for sex is the primary reason why most people get entangled in romantic relationship. This is particularly the case for both male and female partners. Some go into this because they believe having sex could guarantee them marriage. This actually works in some relationships, but for most relationships this expectation could not be met. It is imperative to note that many guys are not really keen about their romance resulting in marriage. They just want to have sex by sleeping with someone. Every other thing after that is secondary.
While some are engaging in romantic relationship primarily because of sex, there are others whose purpose of engaging in romance is that they want someone they could engage to, study, understand and marry. To this category of people everything they are involved in the course of the romance is to soften the ground for eventual marriage. Yes they are involved in pre-marital sex during the period of romantic relationship because they feel they are doing so with the person who will finally marry them. It is therefore very hurtful if at the end of the day their dream does not come to pass. In some cases this could lead to mental health and other serious consequences.
The nostalgic effect derived from the memory of experiences of the romantic relationship is a source of joy and happiness to some people. This therefore encourages them to want to have a repeat experience to keep the relationship alive. To them is like renewing the nostalgia. Each time the parties in the relationship remember and share the experience they want to do it again. Let us get it clear that what gives nostalgic effect in a relationship is not the sex alone. There are other factors like visits to interesting places or tourist location, exchange of gifts, shopping, and others.
Sense of humour is another thing that could easily ignite romantic relationship among lovebirds, particularly those who love humours and comedies. Some people just need someone around them that will make them laugh their heart out. This is where they derive their joy and happiness. It is not everyone that loves to be in relationship with a person that is always wearing a moody face. As a matter of fact, a person wearing long face is the one that has a long way to go.
Bringing Out the Passion in the Relationship Partners
Your passion will remain dormant or passive as long as you keep to yourself without socialising. So many people go into romantic relationship because they feel that doing so will help them ignite their passion. Their primary objective may not be marriage. It may also not be for sex. They just feel that their feeling and passion could be discovered in the course of their romantic life, either before or after marriage.
Quite a number of people go into romance because they in need of appreciation. Someone to tell them they look beautiful or handsome; a person to tell them that their makeup looks so good; somebody to let them know that they look great in their new dresses; somebody to say they look so cute or sexy. They want people who can be saying nice things about them continually around them. They also want people passing complimentary comments on them as well.
Mutual respect and honour for the person is a key factor in romance. People who can recognise and respect your person; and do same for your modest achievements and contributions can bring about a world of difference in your life. The very first person to do this is your relationship partner.
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